Born without eyes

I normally do not watch the show Extreme Home Makeover. I can not tolerate being yelled at. I understand that this is a gimmick and the show does great things, but personally it gets in the way of the message.

That small pet peeve aside, I was blessed to watch the show last night. For those that missed the show, copy the link at the bottom and select the Hughes Family.

The show demonstrated so well the benefits of the power of choice over resignation. The Hughes' are obviously very special people who refused to surrender to the injustices of life. When their first son, Patrick Henry, was born, the doctors stated that there were a "multitude of anomalies".

I remember when my son was born; I was hypersensitive to the words and actions of the docs and nurses. A comment like “multiple anomalies” would have made my anxiety level ring the bell.

As it turned out, Patrick Henry was born without eyes and his arms and legs were not capable of full extension. His parent’s initial reaction was predictable. According to Mrs. Hughes, she stayed up at night and thought of all the things her son would not be able to do.

I strongly believe that this is a necessary part of the healing process. However, so many never get past this “stage". They continue to wonder what they did to deserve a “disabled” child and how will they possibly cope.

This is the point where the words and actions of the family began to impact me.

Mr. Hughes stated that he and his wife came to the realization that this is what they had been handed and it was time to get to work. They were determined to give their son the same chances they would give an able bodied child. Mrs. Hughes stated that they did not hide or coddle him. They put him out there and pushed him to be outgoing. They did not dwell on the handicaps.

Mr. Hughes took a nighttime job so he could spend time with his son. Since he could not play ball with his son, he exposed him to music. This mutual admiration for music created a bond between father and son and music quickly became the center of Patrick Henry’s life. He plays the piano, trumpet and writes music. He learned to focus on his strengths and make the best of what he had.

In watching this show I believe that most would concentrate on Patrick Henry, and deservedly so. He is an incredible human being. However, my focus was on the parents.

The choices they made when Patrick Henry was born totally impacted the life their son is now enjoying. By not allowing negativity to rule their life, they created an environment where young Patrick Henry would be confident in his abilities and his place in this world.

In addition, many would talk of the sacrifices the parents made for their son. Not the Hughes. They believe they are blessed. While this may be true, I think they created their own blessing by making the choice to build an environment that was filled with love, but did not coddle their son. They pushed him to learn and use the assets he had and not focus on those he did not have. Most importantly they were there as his support system.

The Hughes’ are givers, not takers. At the end of the show it went almost unnoticed that Mr Hughes stated that the house is something that the family will continue to earn, they will continue to give back. That absolutely floored me.

At the end of the show, Patrick also made a couple of very profound statements.

• “God made me blind and unable to walk. Big Deal” and
• “My message to not only people my age but to everybody is that it doesn't matter what types of disabilities you are born with or the problems you face on a day to day basis, if you set your mind to achieving a goal, than you can do it.”

Now is that an attitude.

It is so easy for us to make excuses for not achieving our goals. Sometimes it takes the actions of people like the Hughes to show us the lameness of our efforts.

http://dynamic.abc.go.com/streaming/landing?lid=ABCCOMGlobalMenu&lpos=FEP